Friday, May 4, 2012

The Home as "Parent"

I lived in one house my entire childhood.  Others, including my HW moved every few years.  Even though I tried to provide my children with the stability of staying in one place during their growing up years, I can appreciate the advantages of both the adventure of new places and the stability of a few.  But in either case I think the important thing is to establish "home" as a safe place to be.  In that way it sort of takes on the role of a "parent".  We establish it, we create it and in a way it becomes an extension of us caring for our loved ones and at times caring for us. Home should be predictable.  Home should provide the essentials a person needs.  When the boys were old enough to stay alone for a few hours my rule was usually that they had to stay in the house.  I knew that the house was predictable and the trouble they could encounter was limited.  I realize that there can be home disasters - fire, power outages and such - but if the house is well maintained, these are not likely and dealing with them (basically, get away from the fire and get help) can be taught.  The boys had several houses growing up but they each quickly became home.  I think it's something we tend to take for granted, but something that forms a strong foundation of security in us.  Even as adults, after a long work day or a vacation we all like to come "home".  

I have two favorite "home" quotes from vastly different sources:  "There's no place like home." from The Wizard of Oz.  and....
"Home can be the Pennsylvania Turnpike; Indiana's misty morning dew; way up in the hills of Colorado; home is just another word for you.  from Billy Joel's Travelin' Prayer.

And a home takes maintenance and work, but all good relationships do!

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