Thursday, August 4, 2011


I think disappointment is perhaps the hardest thing in life to deal with.  And maybe (although I haven't thought this through) many other issues could be subcategories of disappointment.  For instance: when a loved one dies, we are disappointed that our relationship with them has ended; when we gain weight (and no, that is not the inspiration for this post) we are disappointed that we no longer look and feel as we once did; ditto for when we realize that we are growing old; or when something we make does not turn out as nice as we envisioned; or when we are not chosen for a job, or rejected by a friend.  And it starts with the little disappointments in life like when a parent promises a trip to the store but then has to cancel due to a work obligation or when we anticipate a visit from someone who either comes late or stands us up. And it seems that even as we get over the little disappointments, they leave behind a hole and each subsequent disappointment, big or small, makes the hole bigger until we dread any disappointment at all because it causes a disproportionate bad feeling that is really the cumulative hurt from many disappointments.

And maybe you (those mythical "you" who don't really seem to be there) are thinking, "Oh, please....just deal with it".  And indeed I try and most of the times I succeed, but this time I feel particularly worn down, this time the disappointment seems bigger, deeper, greater and harder to move on from.  It makes me want to hide my head in the sand in an attempt to prevent any other disappointments.

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